I want to talk a little bit about goal setting today. I know that at first glance it might not seem like setting goals has much to do with psychology, but in reality it has everything to do with it. Most people don’t understand how to properly set goals and end up fighting against their own brains to get things done. I can tell you now that your programming can be either your greatest enemy or greatest ally. The better you understand your own psychology the better able you’ll be to make changes in your life. Let me start by reminding you that the majority of your life is spent on autopilot. Your daily actions are mostly driven by the unconscious and very little thought is put into your typical actions. Your brain sets up habits that it can rely on to get you through the day. These habits save a lot of energy because the unconscious mind uses much less fuel than the rational mind. The unconscious mind chooses the default whenever confronted with a choice. Only when something new or unusual occurs does the rational mind get involved. Because of this I want to point out how important it is that your habits should qualify as goals. You won’t reach your goal of running a marathon without a habit of consistent running. Your habit of reading studying everyday will get you to your doctorate better than any goal.
Your habits dictate the course of your life. Therefore creating your habits intentionally should be a priority. However it is difficult to know what habits to develop without clear goals. Today I want to talk a little bit about the best strategies I’ve found to set and reach goals. There are all sorts of different methods and I hope that you continue to grow and seek out new ways of achieving success, but I hope today's article can set you in the right direction.
To start with we have to understand what direction we want to move in. We need a clear destination or we’ll never know if the goals we set are actually taking us to the right place. It takes some self reflection, some experimentation, some trial and error to figure this out. When it comes to self reflection, nothing is going to be such a powerful tool as a pen and notebook. Writing your thoughts down is going to be the best way to organize yourself. Most people have never been taught how to properly set goals and the thought of sitting down and writing either scares them or seems like a waste of time. With a little practice however you can develop a system for getting your thoughts down on paper and learn to make sense of the chaos in your head.
The first step here is learning to ask the right questions. Instead of writing out a series of complaints and half formed ideas you need to learn to present your unconscious with the correct questions. You may remember from previous episodes that your brain is extremely good at creating meaning and solving problems. You can put this innate skill to good use by hacking into your mental operating system a little. When you ask your brain a question, it can’t help but give an answer. The answer may be ridiculous, short sighted, or biased but an answer will come nonetheless. Many people are surprised the first time they take a minute and really ask their unconscious mind a deep question. Often when you are in an open and receptive state the answer that comes will be quite profound.
Try it. All you have to do is find some time alone where you are free of distractions. Take out a pen and notebook and at the top of the page ask the question you wish answered. Remember to make this question an empowering one, and as specific as possible. Don’t ask “why does my life suck?” Or “why am I broke?” Instead ask things like “What does my most fulfilled life look like?” Or “what can I do today to make that life a reality?”
When you have that question ready to go, open yourself up to whatever answers present themselves and write them down quickly and with no regard for your handwriting skills. By asking yourself a question you are really presenting the idea to your unconscious. Remember that the unconscious operates intuitively and will often respond quickly and with flashes of insight. The unconscious speaks the language of symbols, emotions and stories and the sudden bursts of insight may make total sense but take a few minutes to articulate. By putting these epiphanies to paper you are preserving them and taking yourself out of unconsciousness into consciousness, awareness and rationality. Now you can take that deep inner knowledge and make it work for you.
Free-writing is an excellent way to do this. All you have to do is start writing and don’t stop until you reach a predetermined point. I typically do one page of free-writing every morning but I’ve noticed that three pages seems to be the magic number when dealing with a major issue. Over time you may develop your own preferences but I recommend a page of free-writing daily to get you started. Once this becomes a habit you can start branching out and trying different methods.
Another key element here is asking yourself why. Why do I want to feel this way? Why is this or that important to me? Why do I want this?
Then once you have an answer ask why again and again. Ask and continue to write the answers until you can drill down to the absolute bare bones reason. Now that you truly understand your motivations you will be ready to really commit to your goals. Without knowing your why it will be difficult to stay on track. Having a strong understanding of why you are pursuing these goals in the first place will keep you strong when things get difficult.
As a way of building on this I also want to suggest a monthly or even weekly goal setting session. Personally I do this on the first of every month but you may find more value in a weekly practice. During this time what I do is write out what my goals are. I work backwards from long term, to three years, to one year and then to six months. Looking at the progression I am aiming for from this vantage point I can then really dig into what I need to do to accomplish those goals. At this point I start asking questions.
What is the most important thing I can focus on this month? If I can pick 1-3 to things significantly, which things will have the greatest impact? How can I expedite the growth process? What can I cut out that is slowing me down? What is holding me back? What is my greatest obstacle? What new habits do I want to develop?
When I’ve filled my mind with these questions I sit back and let my unconscious do the work from there. I write out whatever comes to mind as quickly as possible, even if it seems unrealistic or ridiculous. It is important to ask questions that inspire you. The more excited you can get about the questions you ask the more your imagination can get involved in the process. You’re basically asking your unconscious to give you ideas and as we know the unconscious speaks in the language of emotion.
Once you know the big picture goals it becomes much easier to break everything down into manageable steps. The mistake most people make is in limiting themselves to goals that are too small. A small goal is fine for daily progress, but it will probably fail to excite you. Not getting excited and having a strong reason for why you are doing something is a surefire way to get bored and lose interest. On top of that an unexciting goal will not bring much satisfaction once completed.
The last factor I want to discuss is meditation. Meditating before your journaling session will amplify the results dramatically. We don’t have time to get too in depth here but basically your brain is always operating in various wave states. These different states are useful for different things and a great hacking tool is learning to create them intentionally. For our purpose we’re looking for Alpha wave states which occur during sleep or deep meditation. When you’re in an Alpha wave brain state you are highly open to learning new skills. Because of this I recommend journaling either after a meditation session or immediately after waking up in the morning. You will be much more open to the voice of your unconscious, and have much more success with any resolutions you create. Whatever you goals you set, or whatever you write down with the intention to create will affect you much more intensely in this state. You essentially place the brain in its natural state of learning and then actively make the changes you want.
Remember that this isn’t rocket science. You don’t need any crazy system to be successful, you just need to consistently apply a method that works. Writing is the best way I’ve found to formulate goals, understand my unconscious and hold myself accountable moving forward. I hope this helps. As always don’t hesitate to reach out to me over social media or through my website.
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