There’s a natural ebb and flow to life, that manifests as periods of growth and contraction. The growth phase is what everyone strives for, but today I want to talk about the contraction phase because I don’t think most people are really prepared for it. For every uphill there’s a downhill. You can’t constantly live in that state of hard charging expansion, you will naturally start to slow down and contract. You’ll constantly cycle back and forth between these two phases, and the contracting phase scares most people off. Today I want to talk about why we actually need both of these phases, and how to handle them.
You don’t have to constantly be outside of your comfort zone. That constant stimulation will eventually start to burn you out, so it’s ok to take breaks and to rest from time to time. Those periods of rest are a good time to start to really integrate all the new things you’ve learned. They give you a chance to become skillful at what you’ve been struggling with. It’s just important that you don’t stay in that one spot for too long. We all go through cycles of expansion, and contraction just like everything else in nature, but we also need to remember that everything in nature either grows or dies. Nothing can ever stand still. The only way to be healthy is to be in a constant state of growth. Now, how much growth and movement you’ll need at any given time will fluctuate. Something that throws a lot of people off is when they hit those periods of contraction instead of expansion. They think that because things are getting hard and they’re losing interest that “maybe this just isn’t it.” They think that if this is their passion then they should be excited about it. What we don’t anticipate is that we’re going to lose motivation and those things we’re passionate about just won’t be exciting anymore. Because there’s an irrefutable law in nature that everything goes through periods of expansion and contraction. When you’re in that period of expansion everything feels great. Even before you’re on a high level you can see that there’s a lot of growth and progress. It feels fun and exciting. What people don’t expect is when those periods of contraction hit, and suddenly the those things you were passionate about aren’t fun anymore. They’re tedious, and now you really don’t want to do them.
That’s when the real growth actually begins. You don’t see it right away, but those are the times that define you as a person. That’s when you decide “am I actually doing this? Or am I going to stay at the same level and never reach above my current capabilities?”
That’s when you have to fall back on your systems and strategies. What habits do you have? What routines do you set? What’s your mindset? What are you telling yourself when things get tough? Are you telling yourself that “this is something I have to go through to be successful and it’s making me better?” Or “ well maybe this isn’t for me. I knew I couldn’t do it?”
One of those mindsets is going to get you through those times, and the other definitely isn’t. But like I said you need these times of contraction. They’re just as important as the periods of growth because now you get to take all the things you’ve learned during the expansion and get good at them. You get to integrate them and make them a part of you. So don’t think of it as a tough time you have to force yourself through, but rather as an opportunity to take yourself to the next level. And that’s exactly what’s happening! Things get really hard once you reach a new level. You soar up through the stratosphere during these periods of growth, and suddenly you’re somewhere completely different. Now you have to learn how to get comfortable and function at a much higher level, and that just takes a little time.
One thing that I really like to do that always helps me, is to just set a bare minimum standard that I know I can always do no matter what. That way when things get tough and I really don’t want to do anything, I know that can bargain with myself and just do a little bit. So if I don’t feel like writing, I’ll tell myself I just need one paragraph. It can be trash! That’s fine as long as I do something. If I don’t want to workout I have a bare minimum standard that I know I can always do, and the same for everything else in my life. What that minimum is, fluctuates a little bit of course; but I know that even on my worst days I can at least do something, and something is always better than nothing! Something keeps the habit going. Something tells my unconscious that no matter what I am going to follow through. Nine times out of ten the idea of slacking off gets me up and moving, but once I’ve gotten started I suddenly find more energy to keep going. I usually don’t do as little as possible because once you get moving things get easier. But, the worst case scenario is that I’m staying consistent and working towards my goals no matter what.
I came up with this strategy as a way to cope with my mental health issues. I have type 2 Bipolar disorder, so for a long time it was hard to be productive. During the manic phases I would do a lot of things badly, then when I was depressed I didn’t even want to get out of bed. I found though that even making myself work on something for a few minutes a day helped though, and that once I got into a state of movement I would start feeling better for a while. It helped on the crazy manic side of things too because it made me focus on one thing for more than thirty seconds. So that’ s a strategy that really helped me learn to cope with that disorder, but it’s also been amazing for keeping me on track with everything else as well. So I really recommend that you guys try this as well. It’s something practical that you can start doing today. Your bare minimum standards are going to be unique to you though, so don’t let anyone else pressure you into making them something that doesn’t serve you.
Also, it’s really important that you understand the point of this strategy. It’s not about showing off. Setting a high bare minimum standard just to show off to the audience in your head, or because you want to feel superior isn’t going to do you any favors. The whole point of this is that it’s something that doesn’t scare you. So maybe you set a goal that you’ll work on your book for one hour a day and that’s the goal that you strive for. But then you set a bare minimum and say that if worst comes to worst you’ll at least write one paragraph, even if it only takes a few minutes. The goal is not to only ever write that one little paragraph, it’s to give you a safety net to fall back on when you struggle.
Consistency is just so important in anything you do. Everyone thinks that they have to do it all right now, and that if they’re not practicing five hours a day then they’re just never going to accomplish anything. The reality is that it’s the tiny steps forward every day that are going to get you where you need to be. Setting the bare minimum helps you to take those steps no matter what. It’s a strategy that can carry you through the periods of contraction and into the growth and progress phase. Don’t expect to only do that bare minimum, but understand that having that takes the fear out of getting up and moving.
Thanks for reading. Good luck.
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