Today we’re going to be having another lesson on the “big five personality traits.” Technically it’s the big six now because intelligence is usually included. The big five personality traits are Extraversion, Agreeableness, Openness, Conscientiousness, and Neuroticism, (OCEAN) and then of course your IQ.
Looking at yourself and others through the lens of these categories can be extremely useful. I’ll talk about how to use them to improve and understand yourself better, as well as a tool for predicting the behavior of others.
Try to figure out where you stand here, but also think about how the people you know can fit into these categories as you listen. When you tailor your strategy for interacting with them to their placement on the five traits, you will make things a lot easier on yourself. Mirroring their placements can also create an extremely endearing effect as well.
So let’s get started…
Openness
Let’s start with openness. Openness to new experience can have far reaching effects. It is how we learn new things, how quickly we adapt to changing situations, and how interesting and colorful our lives tend to be. Typically the more creative types tend to have higher levels of openness. This openness can show itself as an enhanced appreciation for art, a willingness to try to new things, and as certain amount of eccentricity. Someone with fairly low levels of openness will seem rigid, boring, uptight, conventional and just otherwise dull. After all if you are closed off to new experiences, how will you grow as a person?
On the other hand you may be too open. Being on the low side of the openness spectrum can make you rigid, dull and unimaginative, however being on the other extreme can be debilitating as well. There is a certain evolutionary advantage to having portions of society with lower levels of openness. While we need new experiences to learn, grow, and to push ourselves forward, those new things may come with a fair amount of danger. New people bring new diseases, new environments hide new threats, and new ideas create unpredictable situations. People with extremely high levels of openness also have a hard time staying grounded. Always trying something new and challenging their understanding of life prevents them from building a stable foundation from which to live their lives. Just look at teenagers. Always pushing boundaries and experimenting with their personality. While this can lead to growth it also comes with a lot of uncertainty and anxiety. Not knowing who you are, where you stand, where you’re going or what your purpose is quickly creates an existential crises.
In reality, you want a healthy balance between the two extremes. If you need to increase your levels of openness you can begin by trying new foods, reading fiction, listening to new music, saying yes to new opportunities etc. Begin to look for and enjoy the novelty in your life. Spend some time pursuing your creative interests and thinking abstractly. Doing this may bring quite a bit of pleasure into your life in and of itself and is its own reward.
Alternatively, if you are too open try to develop a routine. Keep trying new things but get comfortable with some of your favorites and begin building a foundation of constancy to keep you grounded.
Conscientiousness
You’ll remember that this is the word I have a difficult time saying. Conscientiousness is how organized, reliable, self-disciplined, and attentive you are. For example someone who is happy go lucky, lets the dishes pile up in the sink and is chronically late has a low level of conscientiousness. This is something that is good to score high in, as it is a huge predictor of future success. If you don’t score high then you should begin working on yourself to genuinely improve these scores.
To do this it’s important to do something that we talk about a lot on this show, which is to establish good habits. The more we get into the habit of following through on projects, setting clear goals, working without distraction, paying attention to detail, not procrastinating, and keeping our lives generally organized, the easier it gets. At first all of this takes a lot of work, but habits allow us to automate our lives so that we don’t have to think about it or use much willpower.
It’s best to pick one or two areas you would like to be more conscientious in and start there. Remember that the big five areas of personality tend to be extremely stable over the course of your life, so if you’re going to create lasting change it’s going to take a good bit of work. You’re breaking habits that you’ve had, and lessons you learned in childhood that have had time to become deeply imbedded in your mind. Don’t get frustrated if this is hard to change at first because all you need is patience and consistency. The advantage you have now over before is that you have the awareness and intelligence to choose your habits with intention. Start small by finally getting to those emails you’ve been putting off, and putting your phone on silent while you work on your goals.
Extraversion
Since creativity and mental health are things I try to stay on top of academically, I hear a lot of controversy around introversion/extraversion. The most consistent thing I’ve heard that actually makes sense though is that basically, being extraverted means you gain energy from social interactions, while being introverted means you lose energy from those interactions. Now, everyone falls somewhere between the two extremes, and where exactly we sit does fluctuate depending on mood, setting and the people we’re around. For this personality trait, there is definitely value in pushing yourself to do what you’re uncomfortable with, but at the same time it may be better to understand where you fall on this spectrum and to plan your life accordingly.
If you are a highly introverted person who hates interacting with others and feels drained after every conversation, maybe sales, teaching or club promoting shouldn’t be careers that you pursue. Anything that requires a high level of social interaction is going to leave you feeling drained, and keep you at a permanent disadvantage, so choose your battles wisely. You also shouldn’t allow others to pressure you into creating a constant social life. I can speak from experience here.
I you are introverted you should definitely work on building your social skills as much as possible as this is an essential tool for success, but don’t drain yourself trying to be someone that you’re not. On the other hand extraverts need to learn to appreciate solitude and to spend time alone working on themselves. So again, understand where you fall on the scale, accept it, but learn the lessons and skills offered by the other side of the coin.
Agreeableness
Agreeableness is a trait that can especially interesting to look at. Wherever we fall on the scale we tend to show it in fairly obvious ways. Highly agreeable people want everyone to get along. They take the feelings of others into consideration, and try to avoid confrontation. Being high in agreeableness definitely has the advantage of being likable and easy to get along with, but the extremes of this trait also look like conformity, naiveté and weakness. The less agreeable will absolutely take advantage of those less interested in confrontation, especially if those victims show a reluctance to bring harm to someone else. If you are naturally a highly agreeable person then that’s great. Like I said it’s very useful to have the ability to get along with others and a skill that many people seem to lack. But I want to point out that getting along with people at all costs is not beneficial to you at all. Highly agreeable people need to learn to set boundaries, even if is an inconvenience to others. There is a big difference between treating someone well because you are a good person, and treating them well because you’re afraid of what will happen if you don’t. Take some time to self evaluate, and really question whether or not you are too agreeable (or not enough). Also question why you are agreeable. Is it because you care about others or because you’re afraid of confrontation?
If you feel any automatic mental resistance to this idea, then that is cognitive dissonance, and it means you’re overlooking something that definitely needs work.
Aggression. The other side of the coin. Those low in agreeableness are the confrontational, rude, aggressive douche bags that we seem to run across so often. These are individuals who care little for others and are not afraid of showing it. While there is a downside of being offensive and off-putting, there is a certain advantage to aggression. It can certainly help you get what you want in life, and protects you from other aggressive people as well. However for people terminally stuck in a state of confrontation, there is a lot fo work to be done to make any lasting change. Overly aggressive people do sometimes seem to win in the short run, but oftentimes any success they have through unpleasantness comes at a high price. It’s never really a good idea to alienate yourself in your climb to the top, and that’s exactly what will happen if fail to consider how other people will react to your aggression.
Just like everything else, there’s a balance to be sought after.
There’s a time and a place for everything. Sometimes the correct strategy is to use a little force. Fear and intimidation can be valuable tools when used correctly, just make sure they aren’t your only tools. Even the most passive, laidback pushovers have some aggressive tendencies buried somewhere deep down inside them. These repressed urges contribute to the shadow self, and can be useful when utilized intelligently. Learning to let out your aggressive feelings in controlled doses can give you an edge in life. Just like anything else, there is a balance between too much and too little. Being totally agreeable is no better than being totally aggressive.
Neuroticism
This is another trait we would all probably like to decrease a little. With high levels of neuroticism you’re going to see a lot of emotional issues, mood swings, and general instability. There seems to be some correlation between neuroticism and openness, which may explain the long sought after link between creativity and mental health issues. It has potential somatic symptoms and those high in this trail typically have a rougher time dealing with outside stressors. Essentially, the less orderly your mind is the less you are capable of meeting the challenges of life. Someone who struggles with neuroticism may feel detached from reality, and live in a world full of anxiety.
To lower this trait we need to take care of ourselves. The more we train our minds to know what health and stability feel like, the better we will be able to recognize the warning signs of a neurotic episode. Mental health is something that is overlooked way too often in our society, but if you want to live a balanced and fulfilled life you really need to learn to take care of yourself. It’s not about the situation that you’re in but rather the way you respond to it. People with low levels of neuroticism can deal with highly stressful situations without it having too severe of an effect on them. On the other hand someone high in this trait may struggle with simple everyday tasks because of elevated levels of anxiety, instability etc.
If you know this is something you struggle with then I really encourage you to begin taking your mental health seriously, because you’re probably not at this point. That’s going to look somewhat different for different people, but it never hurt anyone to eat healthy, exercise, get better sleep, spend less time with people who drain your energy, read useful books, engage in meaningful relationships, get good at something you enjoy doing, keeping a clean environment, getting out in nature, learning practical ways to cope with stress, and things like that. This may not be enough for everyone but starting off on the right track doesn’t have to be rocket science.
Conclusion
So just to wrap everything up, the acronym to remember the big five personality traits is OCEAN (Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism). Sometimes people add Intelligence into the mix, and I agree with that but for the sake of time we did not cover that today. The better you understand these categories the better equipped you will be to make honest assessments of yourself and others. It is a useful and stable tool that can be used for personal insight and as a way of understanding those around you even better. I encourage you to apply as much of this as you can. Begin asking yourself where you and those you know fall into these traits. Ask yourself where your strengths are so you can lean into them, and also about your weaknesses so you can get to work improving yourself. Ask where others fall into these categories as well as this will allow you to very accurately predict their behavior and responses in the future.
Good luck.
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